Youth Workin' It

Consultancy and Resources for Youth Workers and Organizations Worldwide

2 Tools To Manage Youth Group Behavior – Hidden Gem #7

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Manage youth behaviorToday we have the 7th of our Hidden Gems – posts that you may have missed the first time that they were published.

2 Tools To Manage Youth Group Behavior

When you’re starting a new youth group, or have an influx of new young people to an existing program, it can be hard for the new members to know what expectations you have for their behavior.

To help ensure that everyone’s on the same page, here are a couple of tools you should use:

1. How To Create A Group Agreement – Group agreements are a list of ideas containing what young people believe to be acceptable and unacceptable behavior for while they’re participating in your program.

If there are some behaviors your youth don’t happen to include, you and your volunteers can also include these, but discuss them with the teens to help ensure they understand why they’re being added to the list.

You and the youth then sign the agreement which helps hold them accountable in the future if any of the negative behaviors are displayed during the group.

2. How To Create A Youth Behavior Policy – In addition to a group agreement, put together a youth behavior policy with your young people. This outlines consequences for negative behavior – this is beneficial as it means the youth know what will happen, especially if they break the group agreement.

It gets signed by both students and their parents so that everyone knows in advance what’s expected of them and what the consequences will be.

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Creating A Logic Model – Identifying Problems and Behaviors

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Youth problem behaviors
One of the problems in our community

We’re continuing our series on how to create a logic model for your youth work programs – you can find the different parts of the series below:

The first part of a logic model is identifying the problems that the youth in your organization and/or community are exhibiting and the negative behaviors that may be the result of those issues. Problem behaviors are, simply put, the things you can see that show that youth are making poor choices and/or feeling helpless or hopeless.

Problem behaviors may include drugs, drunk driving, suicides, cutting class, dropping out of school, fighting and much more. You’re not going to be looking at the possible causes at this point – that comes next week when we look at risk and protective factors.

In order to find out the problems and behaviors, you’ll want to gather both qualitative (the actual numbers) and quantitative (the stories/case studies) data. In terms of best practice, when it comes to community development principles you want to do your research into the statistics provided about a local area. You also need to do a needs assessment, including input from members of the community you’re interested in working with. This post won’t be exhaustive on the subject of research methodology, so I recommend Ground Rules for Good Research which helped me through my research methods module.

Quantitative Data – Numbers, Facts and Statistics

You can find out the quantitative data for an area in a number of ways – here are just a few:

  • Census data
  • Government websites and research
  • Questionnaires with numerical scales

Qualitative Data – Stories and Case Studies

A few ways to get qualitative data include:

  • Questionnaires with fill-in-the-blank sections
  • Focus groups
  • Town Hall meetings and/or forums

That’s not to say that you can’t get qualitative data from website research or quantitative data from focus groups, but some research methods are better suited to capturing data one way than another.

Using my own area and needs assessment for our logic model example, the first part of our model will include Teen Pregnancy, Substance Abuse and Low Graduation Rates. We found through a community needs assessment in 2011 that both data and community members identified these as the top three problems in our local area.

We actually had about 15 different identified problems affecting our youth, but narrowed them down to 6 and then 3 in which to focus our efforts. SAMHSA identifies that you can narrow these down by deciding what the largest problems are (through statistical and community data), how long it’s been happening and whether it’s getting worse, how serious the problem is and how it compares to other data.

Here is what the first part of our logic model will look like:

Basic Logic Model – Behaviors

Next week we’ll look at the Risk and Protective Factors that may be influencing the behaviors in your area, as well as how they might help or hinder the programs and events that you decide to provide in order to address the problems.

Question: What are some of the problems and behaviors you’ve identified for young people in your local community? We’d love to hear about your research in the comments below.

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Image courtesy of Torben Hansen, Flickr

 

How I Dealt With Youth Behavior Issues

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Youth Behavior Issues
Success! Here’s the solution to the problem we had last week

Last week I posed my own question that I needed an answer to:

Q: What do you do when you feel like you’ve tried everything with a group but the youth still have behavior issues? What suggestions do you have for my specific situation?

Thank you to everyone who offered advice and suggestions. They were all useful and valid suggestions and I appreciate you taking the time to interact and join in the discussion. I’d like to share the suggestions so that other youth workers in a similar situation can get more ideas from other experienced youth workers on the topic – because I know I’m not the only one with this problem sometimes.

Suggestion 1

A guest commenter who’s the wife of a youth pastor, a volunteer youth worker at her church and a social worker by education and experience suggested spending time with the leader of the group, maybe through tutoring or mentoring. The relational capital that’s developed through that one-to-one time can be key in the youth later being a leader and resulting in positive behaviors instead of negative ones.

Suggestion 2

Another suggestion came from a Twitter Follower who’s a writer, missionary and teacher with a passion for youth work overseas. He suggested that the group may need more ownership, something that we feel really strongly about here at Youth Workin’ It, but can also sometimes be challenging depending on the climate you’re working in. We agree with the commenter and it’s our assertion that as much ownership as you can provide to the youth should be given and it will inevitably improve youth behavior.

Suggestion 3

A few final suggestions came from Sam (The Teenage Whisperer), a youth justice worker whose work we love and respect immensely. She also regularly makes our youth work blog posts of the week list because she has a lot of great suggestions for working with youth. (Check out her site and subscribe to her blog – seriously, she’s great!)

Sam really emphasized the importance of individual work like our first commenter to help set the tone and work through possible emotional issues in a private setting. She also advised to be careful when trying so many approaches simply because you need something to work. It can cause youth, particularly vulnerable / at-risk youth to feel uncomfortable and / or unsafe emotionally.

Update

These were all excellent suggestions which is why I’ve included them here, so I don’t want any misunderstanding that I don’t think all of these ideas were fantastic simply because I didn’t use them, or have feedback regarding their use with this particular group.

It’s always so hard when you’re trying to describe what’s happening in a group, and I’ll be honest, I usually like to work things out on my own. I’m definitely very independent when it comes to my youth work practice and even offering it out for advice was a huge step in my professional development.

I’ve suggested individual work and meetings with the school since the beginning of our professional relationship, but unfortunately it’s just not possible at this time. There are definitely some home issues, race issues, ethnicity issues, authority issues and much more that I can see in the group and I’d love more time to work with the youth individually.

I would also love to give the youth more ownership and already give them as much as is possible within the group. However, the evidence-based curriculum I’m tasked with working through, as well as the school environment, are not conducive to the kind of youth participation I’d ideally like to see happening. I will say as well that the curriculum we’re using is great – I’ve suggested some of the approaches to other youth workers and it was very successful.

Finally, I definitely agree with the point about changing tactics. While I do try a lot of different things, I don’t believe that it has been unnerving to the group, but I will definitely keep monitoring it in case it is having a bigger impact than expected.

So… what did I do? My initial instinct with every group is team building, but because of the tight schedule and the curriculum, I didn’t do any on the first day as I usually do. Therefore I thought, it’s definitely time for some team building activities – particularly ones that cause them to work towards a common goal like the mat turn, barnyard animals and sharks in custard.

Challenge

Here’s the challenge with that – they’re mean to each other all the time. Even in P.E. when they’re on the same team, they hate on each other. How could I introduce an activity that was 100% guaranteed to cause strife, anger, tears, comments, bullying, etc.?

I’ve been working this whole time on trying to get them to self-regulate, self- problem solve and self-reflect. So what could I try that would help them self regulate AND mean that we could have some positive success at team building games?

The Answer!

The answer is the humble clothes pin.

I gave each young person three clothes pins – I also gave myself three. We pinned them on ourselves where ever we wanted. I explained that we would be playing some team building games and that in order to play, they had to keep at least one clothes pin. If they lost all of their clothes pins, they would have to sit out for the remainder of the session to do work.

The ways they could lose their clothes pins included verbal or non verbal communication that was blaming, threatening, name calling or exaggerating (the road blocks to bridge building that they’ve been learning about in the sessions.)

There was also a way to earn a clothes pin back through extraordinary examples of kindness and team work.

I was very strict. At first, several students lost a clothes pin. Even the youth who don’t ‘normally’ get in trouble (yeah, we had to avoid a few tears with those ones) lost a clothes pin or two. One youth who really struggles with his behavior, and more specifically his facial expressions, lost two of his three clothes pins in the first 10 minutes…

However… they all started to self-regulate their comments and provide positive encouragement. I praised and praised even the smallest examples of team work and patience.

They were all able to participate the whole time (which worked out well since the mat turn took 40 minutes!). They were rewarded with a communication and team building game that involves candy.

Result

Everyone had a great time – including me! We reflected as a group at the end and everyone agreed that the session was a huge success. I was careful to draw the connection between their improved communication and relationships, rather than just that it was a ‘fun game day.’

Several youth commented on how much they enjoyed having the clothes pins to help remind them about their actions and words. One even suggested that we cut back on the clothes pins next week down to two and then the final week to one so that everyone had to work harder and the entire group agreed! I will be providing extra clothes pins to those that will still need them though – everyone isn’t at the same place or learns at the same pace as we know.

As I was leaving, I encouraged them to keep using their strategies for solving conflicts and to pretend they still had their clothes pins on; to think through what they want to say and then think about whether or not Ms. Shae would take a clothes pin for such a comment.

I’ll see the group this week and am hoping that it’s been a positive week as they begin to learn how to work together as a team. Thanks again for your advice!

Question: Do you have any youth work questions or problems that you need answers or advice for? Let us know in the comments below or contact us here.

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I Need Your Help With Youth Behavior Issues!

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Youth behavior issues
This week, we have a question for you!

Usually we use our posts on Tuesdays to answer your youth work and youth ministry questions. We’ve had the opportunity to answer a lot of questions over the past 18 months and we appreciate that you keep reaching out, sending in your questions and engaging in the discussion. However, just because we share what’s worked for us doesn’t mean we don’t ever have questions of our own.

This week’s ‘youth work Q’ is about a group of youth that I’m working with and I could really use some suggestions on how to deal with these youth behavior issues because I’m all tapped out. Below I’ll share all that I can about the situation and what I’ve already tried, but I’d love for you to provide as many ‘A’s’ as possible from your own experiences.

About The Group

The group consists of ten young people in a school setting; they’re approximately 11 years old and there are slightly more boys than girls. We’ve been working through an anti-bullying / pro-social communication curriculum for about eight weeks.

The group has challenging behavior issues, mainly in how they treat one another. They’re verbally and emotionally cruel to each other. They struggle to work as a group, no matter how the groups are created / divided. They have no patience with one another and no grace. They have some problems with bullying and targeting of certain members of the group, which is why I was asked to come. Each have at least one friend within the group, although some are more isolated than others.

What I’ve Done So Far

I have a group agreement in place along with the schools behavior policy. I’ve used praise with the youth. Over the weeks, I’ve tried to be conversational, informal, funny, stern, formal, goofy and serious in my approach. Currently, nothing is working.

We’ve done games, activities and discussions about feelings, conflict resolution strategies and bridge building. I tried a fan mail activity which is usually very effective in helping youth see the positive in one another without any great success – several even asked if they could throw it away afterwards (a first in the 8 years I’ve been using the activity). I’ve done large groups, small groups, pairs and individual work and nothing seems to be working.

I’ve been giving the group time to share their feelings in a safe and honest space, while still monitoring their behavior for bullying / exclusionary language (verbally and bodily) – which for many seems to be a new activity. A few are now very emotional about what has been shared by their group mates and yet they are unable or unwilling to change their behavior or express their own feelings appropriately.

My Question

I don’t expect miracles in 8-10 weeks of groups, but some change in their behaviors, patterns and group dynamics would generally be expected at this point in the group process. So my ‘Q’ to you is this:

Q: What do you do when you feel like you’ve tried everything with a group but the youth still have behavior issues? What suggestions do you have for my specific situation?

A: Please provide your answers and suggestions in the comments below – thanks!

 

Bad Youth Behavior Vs. Bad Youth

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Bad youth behavior vs bad youth
Do you see this as bad youth behavior or the by-product of a bad youth?

Shae was with a group of her young people last week and two of the girls were siblings. The younger sister was being noisy and disruptive and the older one said “That’s my sister – she’s really bad.”

Shae took the time to correct her by explaining that her sister wasn’t bad, but instead was displaying some bad behavior.

Is there a difference?

Bad youth behavior vs. a bad youth. Is there a difference?

Absolutely.

The former is something that someone does whereas the latter is something someone is. Just because a young person displays bad behavior, that doesn’t make them a bad person. A youth making poor choices is simply doing that – making poor choices.

Your own behavior

You may be wondering “Isn’t this just semantics?” No, there’s a much bigger issue here. The way you perceive youth behavior vs. the actual youth themselves will affect your own behavior in terms of how you treat them.

For example, imagine you’re a youth pastor leading a small group discussion. One of them is a ‘good’ young person – one who shows up to all your activities, doesn’t misbehave, is part of the church worship group and gets straight A’s at school.

You also have a ‘bad’ young person – one who only attends your youth ministry program occasionally and when he does show up, tends to be disruptive. You’ve heard that he’s been suspended from school recently and dread the occasions when he does show up to your youth group.

Now, let’s say that they both ask the following question: “Why does God allow suffering?” With the ‘good’ youth, you might rejoice in the question as evidence that they’re growing spiritually and happily launch into a long discussion about it.

With the ‘bad’ youth though, you’d probably be more inclined to think that they’re just trying to be disruptive yet again and as a result you might not take the time to address their question.

Same question, different resultant behavior by you.

The reality

The thing is, the reality could be something far different. The ‘good’ young person may be displaying the persona that’s expected of them and just faking that they care about this issue or about other people.

The ‘bad’ young person on the other hand may have just found out that his best friend is being abused at home and is genuinely wondering why God would allow this to happen.

Same question, different reasons for the questions from the youth than you’re aware of.

Labelling

It’s therefore important to not label young people. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with addressing poor youth behavior – in fact, we actively encourage you to deal with youth behavior issues.

The difference here is addressing the behavior as the issue, rather than the young person as the issue.

Question: What tips do you have for addressing bad youth behavior vs labelling youth as bad? Let us know in the comments below.

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