Youth Workin' It

Consultancy and Resources for Youth Workers and Organizations Worldwide

How To Explore Self Esteem With Youth – Hidden Gem #4

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Youth self esteemToday we’re continuing our series of Hidden Gems – some of our posts you may have missed the first time round.

How To Explore Self Esteem With Youth

No matter how confident your young people are (or pretend to be), there’s a good chance that at some point they’ll struggle with self esteem and self worth.

This can be caused by any number of factors:

  • How they look
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Boyfriend / girlfriend
  • Academic ability (or lack of it)
  • Medical reasons like depression
  • And many more

As a youth worker, your job isn’t to make sure that their life is only ever filled with joy and happiness, as that’s never going to happen.

Having said that, as their youth worker you’re in a great position to assist them in exploring their self esteem and self worth and help them through any issues in their life that could be affecting them.

Today’s Hidden Gem therefore provides many different youth group activities about self esteem – there are session plan ideas, videos, photos, quotes, discussion ideas, debates and more.

If this is an area you want to address with your youth, then go check out our self esteem activities for teenagers.

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Self-Esteem Videos For Teenagers

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Self Esteem Videos For TeenagersTeenagers often judge themselves through the eyes of others. They see their success and failures, their self-worth, self-esteem and self-image, their abilities and their frailties through different lenses.

Some will see their intrinsic beauty and worth through the eyes of the boy or girl they fancy. Others will see their future defined through grades and test scores. Some will believe they’re worthy or worthless through the words of their parents, grandparents, teachers and idols.

Most will miss out on the incredible beauty, joy, humor, life and potential they have within them that many see, but they themselves cannot. These two self-esteem videos for teenagers can therefore make a great session about how to view your ‘best self.’

1. Self Esteem Video 1 – Dove

Dove conducted a new experiment exploring how girls and women view themselves versus how others view them. This would make a great introduction to a talk or small group discussion about self-image, self-worth, self-esteem or perspective.

 

 

2. Self Esteem Video 2 – Suli Breaks

Suli Breaks, a young man from England, has released a new spoken word video. This looks at how young people’s lives and futures can be defined by society and exam results.

However, it emphasizes that they are worth so much more than an A or a D or whether or not they know a theorem or can solve X. This is therefore a great video to show your teenagers as we head into the end of the school year for most students.

Many are getting ready to graduate, take finals, take A Levels, complete coursework and find out if they passed or failed all of the standardized tests we subject our teens to. They need to know that they matter, not their scores or what college they got accepted to. They matter and their dreams matter, even if they don’t know how photosynthesis happens.

 

 

If you liked these videos, we also have many other self esteem activities to use with your young people.

Question: How would you use these self-esteem videos – either together or separately – with your teenagers? We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

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Judging People By Their Appearance – Youth Work Session Idea

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Judging people by their appearanceA problem that affects all of us, no matter how hard we try, is judging people by their appearance. For young people, the desire to fit in at school and in social groups can sometimes lead them to make fun of people based on their looks.

This week’s youth work session plan idea addresses this issue by using a music video to challenge youth in their perceptions of others. We’ve then provided a number of discussion questions to get your young people thinking more deeply about how they judge people and how to change their behavior accordingly.

Some of the questions also have your youth self-reflecting about their own appearance and how they’ve been treated by others. They may therefore feel uncomfortable talking about this in front of their peers, so consider having them write down their answers. These don’t even have to be shared with you, as simply reflecting on this and writing their thoughts down could be beneficial for them. If they’re happy for you to read their answers though, this will help give you some insight into where they’re at.

Warning regarding content on the video:

  • One case of bad language at the beginning about 15 seconds in
  • Someone who sticks two fingers up (the UK equivalent of giving someone the middle finger) about 35 seconds in
  • Short fight scene

You may therefore not feel that this video is suitable for your youth group, particularly if you work with middle school students.

 

Kodaline – All I Want

Discussion Questions

  1. At the beginning of the video, the girl screams when she sees him. Do you think this would have been the first time this happened to him?
  2. How do you think he would have felt by her initial reaction?
  3. Just after that, why do you think the other guy pretended to be a monster?
  4. All his work colleagues keep staring at him. What do you think it would feel like to have this happen to you?
  5. At other times, he seems to be invisible. Have you ever felt ignored by people you know?
  6. If so, how did that feel?
  7. He looks unhappy when he sees his reflection in the window. Do you ever feel that way when looking in the mirror?
  8. Later in the video, he holds the door of the elevator for her but she pretends she’s forgotten something. Why do you think she does this?
  9. Do you think she’s thinking about how her actions will make him feel?
  10. Does his dog judge him by his appearance?
  11. He has great artistic ability. Would you know that by looking at him?
  12. He has a photo of his mother looking at him as a baby, with a happy smile on her face. How do you think she felt about him?
  13. How do you think he felt when someone wrote that he was the “World’s greatest freak” on his coffee mug?
  14. Have you or any of your friends ever made fun of someone’s appearance?
  15. If so, how do you think it made them feel?
  16. Why do you think the girl’s perception of him changed?
  17. What do you think she realized?
  18. At the end of the video, she gives him her phone number and kisses him on the cheek. Do you think this is why he’s so happy, or could it be because someone’s looked past his appearance and seen who he is inside?
  19. Other than what his face looks like, does he seem to be different to anyone else in the office?
  20. Being honest, if you knew somebody who looked like this, how do you think you would treat them?

Church Youth Groups

If you’re showing this video with a church youth group, here are some Bible passages that relate to not judging people by their appearance:

  • 1 Samuel 16: 7 – But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’
  • Galatians 5: 22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (n.b. Although not about judging others by their appearance, this passage links to the passage from 1 Samuel about the Lord looking at the heart, focusing on what’s important) 
  • Matthew 7: 1-2 – Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
  • James 2: 1-4 – My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
  • James 2: 12-13 – Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

For a different take on judging people by their appearance, check out this post on Turning Point’s blog.

Question: Have you ever run a session about judging people by their appearance? How did you address the issue? We’d love it if you’d share your experience in the comments below to help other youth workers in the future.

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Self Esteem Activities For Teenagers

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Self esteem activities for teenagersSelf esteem is an issue for many – if not all – youth, so it’s no surprise that our self esteem activities for teenagers always prove to be popular posts.

This week’s Best Of Youth Workin’ It is therefore a collection of posts relating to this topic.

1. Self Esteem Youth Retreat Theme – This first post has a ton of ideas that you can use when planning a youth retreat based on this topic. Movies, debates, quotes, discussions, faith, exercise and more – there’s enough ideas here to get you through an entire weekend.

2. Self Esteem Youth Work Session Plan Idea – Perhaps you only need material for one day’s session rather than an entire weekend. If so, this session plan has plenty to get you started, with ideas for activities, discussions and debates.

3. Youth Work Self Esteem Photo – This post may only consist of one photo, but it should be enough to get a great discussion going about how beauty is perceived by teenagers.

4. Self Esteem Activities For Girls – These activities for female teenagers are tool kits created by Dove and are well worth using with a group of girls.

5. Self Esteem Book Club – The idea for a book club that addresses this issue also came courtesy of Dove’s “Real Beauty” initiative. Dove also provides lists of books that are age-appropriate for 8-12 year olds as well as 13-18 year olds, so this one’s not just for teenagers if you also work with younger children.

6. Baggage Video – This video was produced by young people and looks at the baggage that can come from how you look at yourself. Although it’s been created from a Christian perspective, there’s no reason you couldn’t have your young people create their own version of the video if you’re not a faith-based youth worker.

7. Judging People By Their Appearance – This is a youth work session idea that encourages your teens to reflect on how they judge others based on their appearance. There are also some discussion questions that relate to how they perceive their own appearance, so will tie in with these other activities.

8. Self Esteem Videos – This post has two embedded videos that address two areas that tend to affect young people’s self esteem the most – their appearance and their academic ability.

Question: What kind of self esteem activities for teenagers do you use in your youth work? We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

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Self Esteem Book Club – Youth Work Session Plan Idea

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Self esteem book club youth work session plan ideaI must admit, this brilliant idea came from the folks at Dove and their Real Beauty initiative. Reading isn’t every young person’s idea of fun, but you’ll have some youth who love it.

For those, consider starting a book club that looks at self-esteem and gives strong characters for youth to learn from and emulate. Today’s Self Esteem Book Club session plan ideas are for young women. If you have any good suggestions for young men, please do share them in the comments below.

Self Esteem Session 1:

Start off your first session by exploring the topic of self-esteem or self-worth and help the youth group work through the following steps:

  1. Accurately identify their strengths and weaknesses
  2. Share one or more positive things they’ve accomplished that they’re proud of
  3. Explore how their strengths can help them compensate for their weaknesses
  4. Think of phrases they can use when talking about themselves, their accomplishments, their talents and their goals

Show the following clip and discuss how Sam saw herself – can any of the girls relate? What changes have they made to who they are or how they look to please others?

Finally choose a book from one of these lists provided by Dove:

Girls 8-12

Girls 13-18

Subsequent Self Esteem Sessions

For each session, assign parts of the book to read next and then come together and share ideas and feelings based on what the youth group read. You can use the questions provided or come up with your own.

To see if this youth work programming positively affects your youth, start with a basic self assessment and then repeat it at the end to see any improvement in self-esteem or feelings of self-worth.

If you’ve found this self esteem session plan useful, you might also like our other self esteem youth work session plan idea, as well as our self esteem youth retreat theme.

Question: Have you ever run a self-esteem bookclub? How did it go? What self-esteem ideas do you have to spice up this book club? Do you have any book ideas for young men? Share your ideas in the comments below.

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