Youth Workin' It

Consultancy and Resources for Youth Workers and Organizations Worldwide

2 Tools To Manage Youth Group Behavior – Hidden Gem #7

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Manage youth behaviorToday we have the 7th of our Hidden Gems – posts that you may have missed the first time that they were published.

2 Tools To Manage Youth Group Behavior

When you’re starting a new youth group, or have an influx of new young people to an existing program, it can be hard for the new members to know what expectations you have for their behavior.

To help ensure that everyone’s on the same page, here are a couple of tools you should use:

1. How To Create A Group Agreement – Group agreements are a list of ideas containing what young people believe to be acceptable and unacceptable behavior for while they’re participating in your program.

If there are some behaviors your youth don’t happen to include, you and your volunteers can also include these, but discuss them with the teens to help ensure they understand why they’re being added to the list.

You and the youth then sign the agreement which helps hold them accountable in the future if any of the negative behaviors are displayed during the group.

2. How To Create A Youth Behavior Policy – In addition to a group agreement, put together a youth behavior policy with your young people. This outlines consequences for negative behavior – this is beneficial as it means the youth know what will happen, especially if they break the group agreement.

It gets signed by both students and their parents so that everyone knows in advance what’s expected of them and what the consequences will be.

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How To Create A Group Agreement – Youth Work Session Plan Idea

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How to create a group agreement
Your youth don’t have to sign the agreement with a fancy pen

If you want to know how to create a group agreement, this youth work session plan is for you! Creating a youth group agreement works best when you can effectively help young people make informed decisions.

Resources

  • Flipchart, large paper, white board, computer w/ projector or chalk board (depending on your resources available)
  • Markers, pens or chalk (depending on which item you choose as your first resource)

 Steps to Creating a Group Agreement

  1. Ask if any of the youth know what a group agreement or youth contract might be. Have them give their ideas and then explain that this is the governing document for youth behavior within the group. It will determine what sort of behavior is acceptable or unacceptable during group sessions.
  2. Explain clearly to the group what you are looking for from their input. This will depend greatly on how much youth participation you or your organization is ready for. For example, do you only want them to give ideas on what is included in the group agreement? Do they get the final say on all items? Do you get to add some items (like zero-tolerance policy issues*) yourself that can’t be vetoed? Figure out what your ideal is and what the boundaries are and communicate that clearly to the group.
  3. Have the youth create a list of ideas for what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior within the group.You can do this in a few ways using the resources listed above:
    • They can create a list on their own and present it to you, or they could break into smaller groups and have them present their lists to each other
    • Create a list together. You can list all the items suggested and then review them at the end, picking and choosing what should be included in the group agreement
    • Facilitate a discussion. You can explore the pros and cons of each item as they’re suggested and only put ideas that are group consensus on the list. Review the list and make it a list of ‘YESs’ instead of ‘NOs’ to help keep group morale and participation positive
  4. Make sure that when you set the expectations at the beginning, you mention if there are any ‘zero-tolerance issues’* that will automatically go on the list. However, still take the time to explore with the group why these might be good things to include and how they might benefit the youth.
  5. Confirm all the items on the list with the group. Explore any remaining issues or concerns.
  6. Have everyone within the group sign the agreement. 
  7. Hang it in your meeting room. If you move around or use a shared room, just take it down at the end of each session and hang it up at the beginning of each session. This is where having flipchart or other large paper can be really useful. If you only have access to a chalkboard or whiteboard, consider writing the list down or taking a picture of it, and then producing a large paper copy for the group to sign and display during sessions. If you only have a computer, print it off when you get a chance, have the group sign it and display it. Displaying the agreement is an important tool for managing youth behavior. It helps the youth remember what they agreed to and they can refer to it easily. They can also self-correct as a group when the agreement is accessible to everyone. 

*A zero-tolerance policy means that if any of these items are brought to group, or if these actions happen during group, there is automatic exclusion from the group as a consequence.

You can get the forming stage of your youth group’s development off to the right start by coupling today’s youth work session plan idea with these other ideas – Hopes and Fears, Mat Turn, Human Knot and Ball Name Game – to create a good ‘getting to know you’ first session for any youth group.

If you’ve found this session plan helpful, you may like our other youth work session plans.

Question: Have you created a group agreement before? Do you have any steps you would add to this process? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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How To Manage Youth Behavior

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How to manage behavior in your youth group
Make sure there’s nothing foggy about your behavior management

Knowing how to manage youth behavior in your youth group is an important part of program administration. A group agreement outlines the expectations for the group and helps you manage youth behavior within the program (see yesterday’s post for more information on what a group agreement is).

Enforcing a group agreement usually happens within the group itself. The youth help create the expectations for the group and you help create the expectations for enforcement. When creating the group agreement, ensure the youth know that they’re responsible for helping each other follow it.

Unfortunately, positive peer pressure isn’t always enough. If you consistently have one or more young people who are struggling to follow the expectations of the group as set out by the group agreement, as the program leader you may need to have other ways to manage youth behavior. While each youth is different and therefore the exact particulars of their behavior management may be different, it’s important that youth know the overall boundaries and basic processes you’ll use when correcting unacceptable behavior.

Creating a behavior policy is an important step to manage youth behavior that often gets forgotten in youth work program administration. This can be particularly true within youth ministry and other faith-based programming, where the emphasis in interactions often focuses on giving second chances, forgiveness, grace and mercy.

That’s not meant as a criticism for those programs – those are important parts to any good youth work, not just faith-based programs. Sometimes for the safety, enjoyment and progress of the rest of the group though, there needs to be a clear understanding of ‘how far is too far’ and what will happen as a result of their actions.

A youth behavior policy should be based on your organization’s wider policies and procedures. Some programs may not allow smoking of any kind, so you should include that as a zero-tolerance item on your group agreement. Within your youth behavior policy, you’d then identify what happens when zero-tolerance behaviors occur and what the consequences will be.

Using a behavior policy as part of your program administration doesn’t have to be this oppressive, draconian thing that encourages youth to fear you. Transparency in the process of managing youth behavior, with both the group agreement and your program’s behavior policy, is the key to creating boundaries without fear or resentment.

Here are three things to remember when using a youth behavior policy and how transparency in the process will help your program administration:

  1. Write it down – Everyone has a bad day. And when the same youth does the same thing for the 15th time, it can be easy to give a consequence that is disproportionate to the unacceptable behavior. By writing the policy down, it will help keep you on track – even on rough days – and provides security within the group by facilitating trust. They will understand that you won’t create new expectations on a whim, that you will do what you say you’re going to do and they will be be able to see it because it’s there in black and white.
  2. Get signatures – Have both the youth AND their parents sign that they have read and understand the youth behavior policy at the start of the program. You can provide a copy of your written policy for them to keep when you give them their permission slips or entry forms for participation. Make sure that everyone has a good chance of understanding your policy by using appropriate language and phrasing. By getting signatures, you create accountability within the group. They won’t be able to say ‘I didn’t know that’ or ‘You never said that’. This helps make sure everyone is on the same page from the start.
  3. Follow It – There’s no point in writing down a policy and getting everyone to agree to it if you don’t follow what it says. As I mentioned earlier, their uniqueness means you’ll sometimes need different methods for helping to manage youth behavior during the session. Following your policy creates fairness within the group. By following your policy fairly and consistently, you’ll help your youth see that you don’t play favorites or discriminate. Everyone recieves the same treatment.

Tomorrow, we’ll be providing a youth work session plan idea on how to create a group agreement with your youth. Next Wednesday, we’ll provide a guide on how to create a youth behavior policy and provide you with an example policy.

Question: What do you think about creating a behavior policy for your youth program? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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What Is A Group Agreement?

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Youth group agreement
Creating a group agreement means everyone is setting expectations together

Q: What is a group agreement?

A: A group agreement (sometimes also called a youth group contract) is a document that outlines what the expectations of the group are for the time they are meeting together.

You might be thinking to yourself, “Wait, isn’t a group agreement just ‘the rules’? I already have those, so check you later Youth Workin’ It.”

Some might consider a group agreement, ‘the rules.’ The key difference between a group agreement and ‘rules’ comes in the creation and enforcement.

Rules are often top down. They’re usually created and enforced by the person in charge. A group agreement though is created by the entire group. They decide what goes on and discuss why it’s important for the group.

Creating a Group Agreement

Creating a youth group agreement takes time and discussion. It needs ownership and participation from all the youth to work well. You’re a part of the group as well and can therefore make sure that any zero-tolerance items end up on the list. But again, do so conversationally. For example, with a no alcohol ‘rule’, explore why it’s important to the youth that everyone comes sober.

When creating a group agreement try to keep items positive. Instead of a list of ‘NOs’, try to create a list of positive activities that everyone agrees to. From our previous example, instead of ‘No alcohol’, try ‘Come to group sober’. Instead of ‘No put-downs’, try ‘Speak kindly’. The youth will probably give you a list of ‘NOs’ – take the time to help them create a list of ‘YESs’.

Once a group agreement is created have everyone sign it. Yourself included. When new group members join have them review and sign the agreement too.

Enforcing a Group Agreement

Enforcing a youth group agreement is just as important as creating one. Don’t always be the one to enforce the expectations set by the group. It’s the group’s agreement, not your rules. Everyone is encouraged to give positive peer pressure to adhere to the group agreement they created together. If you have a youth team leader on a project within your program, encourage them to also take the lead in helping remind the group about the group agreement.

Refer to it often, even when no one is breaking it. Praise the group when they are following the agreement. It’s often easy to only notice when a youth is breaking a part of the group agreement, but take the time to praise individuals and the group when they’re working well and following the group agreement.

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about how group agreements help manage youth behavior. On Thursday, we’ll provide a youth work session plan for creating a group agreement, so check back!

Question: Do you think a group agreement is different from ‘rules’? Why or why not? Share your answers in the comments below.

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The Norming Stage Of Group Development

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Norming stage of group development
No – it’s Storming and Norming, not Stormin’ Norman

We’ve recently been looking at Tuckman’s stages of group development and how they affect your youth work – so far we’ve covered the Forming Stage and Storming Stage.

We’re now reaching the halfway point in the series.  If we were a group, we might just be entering Tuckman and Jensen’s (1977) Norming Stage. This is where your youth group is beginning to settle, the members are finding their purpose and some growth, learning or action is starting to happen.

According to Peter Barnes (2002:43) the Norming Stage is characterized by the following:

  • The group is more comfortable; depending on the group, this can also become complacency
  • They are openly exchanging ideas through communication
  • Group members may be ‘on eggshells’ to avoid a return to the Storming Stage
  • The group may be productive but it’s not always effective

After the rocky road of the Storming Stage, you might be looking forward to the Norming Stage. But be aware that simply because opinions aren’t polarized and the group is able to work together under common leadership and goals, it doesn’t mean they’re achieving all they could be. Barnes suggests the group needs group task focus and interdependence to become an effective team.

Here are some things you can try to move your group from just ‘Norming’ to ‘Performing’:

Give the group a challenge

While you don’t want to send them spiralling back into the conflict of the Storming Stage, you want to help your group avoid complacency. Remind them about their newly formed team roles and conflict resolution skills they learned during the Storming Stage of their group.

Give them a task or take them to an obstacle course that will solidify their team roles, bond them as a group and provide a measurable opportunity for productivity and success.

Praise and correct group communication

We’ve mentioned before that youth need praise – four to one ratios for positive feedback to correction, although some youth need a lot of praise, like eight positives for every correction you make. When your youth are communicating well, praise them. Tell them what they did right when talking to each other.

When your group isn’t communicating well in the Norming Stage, correct it immediately and explain what wasn’t so good about their communication. This will help reinforce good habits for communicating with others in a group.

Remind them of the group agreement

The group needs to remember that it’s a safe space to disagree and that they can do it in a appropriate way. They don’t need to fear the constant disagreements of the Storming Stage because they’re able to express themselves appropriately and are being corrected when they communicate inappropriately. This can be done easily through the use of a group agreement.

Don’t accept less than 100% from your group

Give your group motivation to grow, learn and produce outcomes as they work through tasks and challenges in the Norming Stage of group development. Don’t let them get by with ‘good enough’, but encourage them to do their best work at all times – this will help them accomplish more.

Using the praise and correction mentioned above effectively, along with rationales and explanations, will increase the productivity. The youth group will know what’s acceptable and unacceptable. They’ll be able to clearly understand what’s expected of them and rise to that challenge.

Use session evaluations to measure productivity

Use the session evaluation time to review what went well and areas for improvement. Just remember one thing: what’s 100% of what you can accomplish isn’t necessarily 100% of what everyone else can accomplish.

If the group worked well for the entire youth work session and didn’t complete the task, review if it was achievable in the time allotted (the A of SMART). If they played around and didn’t accomplish much, there needs to be reflection of that during the end of session evaluations so that productivity can be improved.

 

The Norming Stage of group development can provide much needed cohesion after the tumultuous time of the Storming Stage. But don’t let your group stay there. Help them feel safe, productive and positive, but challenge them so they can continue to move forward into the next phase – the Performing Stage of group development.

Q: What ways do you help your group ‘Norm’ after disagreements? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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