Youth Workin' It

Consultancy and Resources for Youth Workers and Organizations Worldwide

Self Esteem – Youth Retreat Themes

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Self Esteem - Youth Retreat ThemesAs we mentioned the other week, youth retreat themes can be one of the hardest parts of planning a youth retreat. As it’s a topic you’ll be covering for a whole weekend (or possibly longer), it needs to be something that speaks into the lives of your young people.

A self esteem youth retreat theme is therefore a great topic to cover, as no matter what group of youth you’re working with, it’s likely that self-esteem will be an issue for most – if not all – of them. Below, we’ve set out a number of activities that you could use for a self esteem youth retreat theme.

Self Esteem Video

As you have a lot more time with young people on a youth retreat, there’s usually more of an opportunity to watch a movie than there would be during a usual youth work session. A great movie with the theme of self esteem is Easy A. This features Emma Stone as Olive – a high school student who uses the school’s rumor mill to improve how people view her and to make her stand out more.

Olive ends up building an ever larger web of lies in her attempt at improving her identity and self esteem. Easy A looks at the natural and logical consequences of her actions and the realization that what other people think of her maybe isn’t quite so important.

n.b. Easy A has some content that you may deem to be inappropriate for your youth group, so watch the movie first to make sure you’re happy to use it.

Self Esteem Debate

Split the young people on the youth retreat into two groups. Have them debate an issue relating to self esteem – possibly using some of the issues from Easy A as a starting point, such as using sex or lying as a way to boost your self esteem/change how people look at you.

Self Esteem On A Christian Youth Retreat

If your youth retreat is being run through a church, looking at the story of Samuel could be a great way of looking at self esteem. From 1 Samuel 16:7 – But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Self Esteem Quotes

This activity could be done in a couple of ways:

  1. Display a self esteem quote on a screen. Give your youth a couple of minutes to consider the quote, then ask them for their thoughts on it. Do they agree with the self esteem quote – if so, why? If not, why not?
  2. Spread out the youth around the room and give each of them their own self esteem quote on a piece of paper, along with a blank piece of paper and a pen. Similar to the first option, have them consider whether or not they agree with the quote, then write down why they feel that way. If they don’t agree with the quote, how would they rephrase it? If they do agree with it, is there anything they would add to the quote? Have each young person present their thoughts to the rest of the group – although this could be nerve-wracking for some of the youth, it’s a good opportunity to work on their public speaking and in turn improve their own self esteem

Spirit Wire has many self esteem quotes – here are a few that might be more appropriate to use with youth, either due to the quote itself or because they might admire the person who said it:

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid – Albert Einstein

I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it – Johnny Depp

If you’re wearing a disguise for too long, it will be difficult for the mirror to recognize you. At the end of the day I hope you become the person they didn’t expect you to be. Be proud to wear you – Dodinsky

Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success – Bobbe Sommer

I was once afraid of people saying, “Who does she think she is?” Now I have the courage to stand and say, “This is who I am.” – Oprah Winfrey

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are – Kurt Cobain

I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot… and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed – Michael Jordan

It is not our abilities that show what we truly are…it is our choices – Dumbledore

Self Esteem – Exercise

Exercise is actually a great way of boosting self esteem in young people for a couple of reasons:

  1. It boosts endorphins, so this can improve self esteem and general happiness levels
  2. It gives youth a sense of achievement

The options for games/exercise for your self esteem youth retreat will vary – it’ll often be based on what activities are available at your retreat center or close by. Options could include:

  • Going on a hike – make it harder (and therefore producing a bigger sense of achievement) by putting youth in charge of following a map/directions
  • Rock/wall climbing
  • High ropes courses

Ensure that the activities are challenging, but achievable for all your youth. If one or more of your youth have a paralyzing fear of heights, a high ropes course of rock climbing might prove to be counter-productive.

Self Esteem For Girls

If your youth retreat will only have girls on it, check out these self esteem activities for girls.

Other Self Esteem Activities

Check out our previous self esteem youth work session plan for a couple of further ideas: Fan Mail and the Multiple Intelligences Test.

 

** If you’re planning a youth retreat, our book takes you through the planning process step-by-step – discover more about How To Plan A Youth Retreat **

 

Question: How have you covered the topic of self esteem with your youth group? We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

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What Mattered To You?

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What do you remember from when you were the same age as the youth you work with?

It’s only 12 years since I stopped being a teen, although it feels much longer ago than that. The older I get, the easier it is to forget about what life was like as a teenager.

Some things have changed a lot – when I was 13 (in 1993), I didn’t have a cell phone. I didn’t have an email address. There was no Facebook. Heck, no one even really used the internet.

Some things haven’t changed for youth though. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Belonging.

So today I want to suggest thinking back to what your life was like as a teenager and more specifically:

What positive things do you remember and how can that help influence your youth work today?

When I was a teen, I had a lot of drug and alcohol problems. That in itself isn’t something positive, but it means I’ve been able to use my experiences to help relate to youth in a similar situation and try to help guide them away from that lifestyle.

One of my abiding memories though is more random – it’s a conversation I had with a youth worker. The reason it’s random is that I don’t remember much of it. I don’t know how old I was, although I think I was probably 13 or 14. I can’t even remember what we were talking about.

That conversation had a big impact on my self-esteem that day though. It’s also influenced how I communicate with youth to this day. What was significant about the conversation?

He was interested in what I had to say and treated me as an adult

It wasn’t a deep and meaningful conversation – it was probably about a band, my favorite team or something equally “unimportant”. What mattered though was that he was treating me as an adult. It felt like a normal conversation he could have been having with any one of his friends, but he was chatting to me in the same way.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t think as youth workers we’re supposed to be best friends with our young people. There are boundaries we should have, especially as we’re in a position of authority (e.g. not texting them on our personal phones).

That doesn’t mean you can’t treat them as adults though. In fact, treating them as adults is what will help them grow, as it gives them a chance to take more responsibility for their actions and choices. One way of doing this is by encouraging youth participation, but there are many other ways.

One of them – like my youth leader did – is simply by talking to young people. Show a genuine interest and care about what they have to say. You never know – it might become one of their fondest memories years down the line.

Question: What’s your favorite memory from when you were part of a youth group? Let us know in the comments below.

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Self-Esteem Activities For Girls

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Self-esteem activities for girlsCovering the issue of self-esteem with girls doesn’t have to mean it’s a somber session. Using fun activities might even help them take the lessons to heart as well.

So if you’re looking for a few good activities for your self-esteem session, check out Dove’s self-esteem tool kits for girls.

There are one-on-one activities and group activities.  There are even a few self-esteem activities that girls can do online!

There is also a video produced by Dove showing a model transforming from average girl to billboard ready in just over a minute. This is a great discussion starter about how advertising can be misleading.

You can explore how difficult it might be to live up to a standard of beauty that isn’t even real due to editing. Check it out here.

We also have loads more self-esteem activities for teenagers.

Question: How do you explore the issues of self-esteem with girls in your youth group? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Self-Esteem Youth Work Session Plan Idea

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Self esteem youth work session plan ideaI’d like to start by saying that I’ve done these self-esteem activities with mixed groups of boys and girls – self-esteem isn’t just a girls issue.

Young men struggle with self-esteem too. Some studies have found that young men have a higher risk for dependency on drugs by the time they’re 20 if they have low self-esteem when they’re as young as 6th and 7th grade. Young men might also be at risk for low self-esteem based on academic achievements, surrounds and comparisons, particularly to girl counterparts.

This article offered some good tips on how to help the young men in your life to develop more positive self-esteem and hopefully some of the activities below will be a good jumping off point in your own youth programs.

Self-Esteem Discussion Starters

  • Media Collage – draw an outline of a person on the ground. Using magazines and/or the internet, have the youth put down images, slogans, etc. that identify how men and women should look, think, dress, act or feel. Ask some questions once the collage is complete: What are these adverts saying to you? How do they make you feel? Do you match their stereotypical imagery? Why do advertisers use them?
  • Quote – “I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence” – Frederick Douglass. Explore what this quote means to the youth in your group (remember to explain any tricky vocabulary).

Self-Esteem Activities

  • Multiple Intelligences Test – I discovered this several years ago. It’s a fantastic way to help young people identify things that they’re good at and it allows for a discussion about what makes us all different and special. I used to use a fantastic site that allowed you to print the results in a graph. Sadly the link is broken now, but this one is good as well. By taking the test and finding out that there is more ‘to be good at’ other than sports, the youth in your group or program will begin to find value in their interests and abilities, not just those their peers or society consider important.
  • Fan mail – This is a tried and true activity that I’ve used with every youth I’ve ever worked with. You have the youth and leaders write their name at the top of a piece of paper. Put each piece of paper and a pen around the room randomly. Explain that everyone in the room needs to go around the room and at the bottom of the paper write something positive about the person whose name is at the top of the paper. It needs to be something thoughtful, if possible, rather than just ‘nice’ or ‘cool hair’. Especially try to refrain from comments about physical appearance. Once they write their comment, they fold up the bottom of the paper to cover their comment. Put on some music and let the group begin. Each person does this and the paper gets folded up over each comment so that it’s private between the writer and the receiver.  Once everyone is done hand the papers back to each youth for them to read and keep.

Self-Esteem Debate

  • Split your group into two teams and give them one of these topics: Does advertising, the media, barbie, etc. affect how young men and women feel about themselves – why or why not? Have the for/against positions. Allow them time to do the research and present their findings and opinions. Maybe have some guest judges who decide which side presented the best case.

These are just a few suggested ideas for how to help the youth in your organization, both boys and girls, explore ideas and opinions about self-esteem and themselves. This weekend we also have a great self esteem photo to use to start a conversation in your youth group.

Question: Do you have any tips on how to explore self-esteem with the youth in your program? Let us know in the comments below?

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