Youth Workin' It

Consultancy and Resources for Youth Workers and Organizations Worldwide

Hard-Hitting Video For Discussing Difficult Issues With Youth

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Discussing Difficult Issues With YouthPhysical abuse. Pregnancy. Suicide. Death.

These are all issues that can be difficult to address with young people. Most youth will have been impacted by at least one of these issues, either directly or by their friends or family being affected by them.

This session idea touches on all of these areas in a fairly non-threatening way. This will therefore hopefully enable your young people to consider and discuss the issues, without putting any of them in too much of an uncomfortable position. Be sensitive to their feelings though, particularly if you’re aware that some of them have gone through any of these situations.

You can then use their answers to gauge where they’re at and if it’s worth planning any future sessions based on the issues raised.

Watch

First of all, watch the Zack Hemsey music video below for his song Waiting Between Worlds.

Discussion

Next, discuss the situations faced by the people in the video. You could come up with your own questions, but here are some conversation starters:

Pregnant Girl

  • In the first scene, you find out the girl gets beaten up by her boyfriend and then discovers that she’s pregnant. What do you think is going through her head as she sits in the bathroom?
  • If she was your friend, what would you suggest she do?
  • Do you feel like she made the right decision leaving the boyfriend? Why?
  • At the end of the video, the boyfriend sees the positive pregnancy test. What do you think he’s thinking and feeling at that moment?
  • How could she have avoided being in this situation in the first place?

Old Man On Beach

  • What do you think he’s thinking about as he’s sitting on the beach?
  • What do you think he’s feeling?
  • Why do you think he decides to try committing suicide?
  • Towards the end of the video, you see him laying on the beach having survived the suicide attempt. What do you think he’s feeling at that point?
  • Do you think he still has anything to live for?

Mother Of Son Who’s Been Shot

  • What do you think would have been going through the Mom’s mind when she heard her son had been shot?
  • Do you think she wishes she’d done anything differently?
  • The doctor advises that her son can either live in a vegetative state, or they can turn off the machines that are keeping him alive. What do you think you’d choose if you were in her position? Why is that?
  • Do you ever do anything that makes your parents fear that something similar will happen to you?
  • If so, how do you think this makes them feel? Does this make their reactions seem more proportionate?

Question: What other questions would you ask based on the content in the video? Let us know in the comments below.

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Expect The Unexpected – And The Embarrassing

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I was sat in the bar at the hotel, watching myself on TV. And then it happened.

They left it in?! It wasn’t edited out????

A couple of months before, I’d been a contestant on The Weakest Link. They filmed two or three episodes a day, with them being broadcast a few months later.

I was away on business the day my episode was shown, so I was sat with a colleague in the hotel bar watching expectantly. In case you’re not familiar with the show, the presenter Anne Robinson gives every contestant a hard time, trying to push their buttons to either make them embarrassed or mad.

I went in prepared – or so I thought. Shae and I met on the P.O.D. message boards back in 2003, so I was expecting Anne to grill me about meeting my wife online, as it was before sites like Match.com had taken off. I was all prepared for questions like, “So, did she turn out to be a bow-legged, cross-eyed, sweaty 500 lb man instead of the 23 year old beauty in the photos?” I should be so lucky to get a question like that.

What did she ask me – and what actually got broadcast at 6pm on BBC2 to millions of people in the UK?

“How would you rate the first time with your wife out of 10?”

Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either!

When working with youth, we have to expect the unexpected – and the embarrassing. Youth – like Anne Robinson – have an uncanny ability to ask questions that can leave you flustered if you’ve not given any thought on how to answer them.

OK, so if they ask you to rate your first time with your husband or wife, it’s obviously fine to explain that it’s not appropriate to discuss that kind of thing with them – it’s important for youth workers to have boundaries. Other questions aren’t so easy to deflect though:

  • Have you ever smoked?
  • Have you ever got drunk?
  • Have you ever done drugs?
  • Did you have sex before marriage?
  • Have you ever watched porn?
  • Have you ever stolen anything?
  • Have you ever been in a fight?

These are all questions that could easily crop up, so it’s important to consider now how you’d answer them. Young people aren’t dumb – if they ask you a question like these and you reply “Erm…..er…….did you see X Factor last night?”, they’ll know the answer is yes.

Be honest

Youth are more likely to respect what you have to say if you’re real and honest with them. If they ask whether you’ve done drugs and you have, tell them so. You don’t have to glamorize it – the fact that you’ve had this experience can help you guide them away from taking drugs. As you’ve had first-hand experience of taking drugs, you can explain the negative effects with far more authority than others would be able to.

Make it personal

It might feel uncomfortable, but make your experiences personal. Instead of just saying that you stole from your parents, explain the impact and what natural and logical consequences this had – how it took ages to gain back their trust, the punishment you received.

Young people – and adults – often do things without thinking through the consequences. Having these spelled out can help crystallize the reality of what their actions may lead to.

Don’t judge

If a young person asks you a tricky question like those listed above, I can almost guarantee they’ve either done it themselves or are seriously thinking about doing it – that’s why they’re asking. If your answers to the above questions are no, try not to appear judgmental when answering their question.

If they want to know if you had sex before marriage and you reply, “Of course not”, chances are the young person will clam up. You don’t necessarily know what they’ve been through – what happens if they’d been sexually abused and they’d been about to open up about it? Your answer would probably mean they wouldn’t feel safe disclosing the abuse to you, in case you judged them.

So make like a Scout and Be Prepared! Think back through your past to anything that would make you flustered if asked. Work out an honest answer to give if youth ever ask about the situation and how you can use your experience to guide them into making positive choices.

Question: Have you ever had an embarrassing situation like this? How did you deal with it? Let us know in the comments below.

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p.s. I’m sure you’re wondering what my reply was to Anne Robinson. I think it was something along the lines of “Um…..er……du……em…….I…..um……..y……..well…….erm…..th………”

 

Youth Unemployment – Does It Matter?

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Youth unemployment - does it matter?
Are youth being hung out to dry as well?

Since the credit crunch hit in 2007/08, unemployment has been going up, or plateauing at already high levels. Youth unemployment though has been much higher compared to the national average unemployment rate – about double the rate for adults.

In the US, youth unemployment is 18% vs a national rate of 9%. In the UK, youth unemployment is 23% vs a national rate of 8%. Ireland’s youth unemployment rate is 27% while Spain’s rate is almost 45%.

The thing is, does youth unemployment matter? By this I mean – should we care more about youth that are unemployed than about people of other ages that are unemployed? Isn’t this just ageism against young people in reverse? My answers are yes, yes, no.

Why do I think youth unemployment matters more?

They’re unable to gain skills – an adult who’s been laid off will likely have a number of years of work experience and skills behind them to help them find another job. Young people entering the workforce don’t have that benefit, so it’s harder for them to gain the skills they need, meaning that…….

It’s harder for them to get a job longer term – not having workplace skills results in young people being less employable, making it more likely they’ll be unemployed longer term

Negative self-worth – it can be extremely demoralizing being turned down for jobs all the time, which can easily lead to young peoples’ self-worth being impacted. Never getting a job could understandably lead to young people saying “Why bother?”

Social mobility – if young people aren’t earning, they can’t afford to move out of home. This leads to an increase in the number of youth living with their parents still, on top of those who were already priced out of the housing market before the credit crunch

For me though, the biggest issue here is this – long-term societal issues. In the short term, youth unemployment is just as bad as adult unemployment – either way, someone’s out of work. The longer the youth unemployment rate stays high though, the less likely it is that they’ll be able to – or want to – join the workforce. Imagine how society will be affected over the coming decades if 1/5 of working age adults are deemed unemployable.

Tens of millions in the US alone would be on welfare, unable to or lacking motivation to get a job. Families will be living in sub-standard housing as they can’t afford any other option. Lack of money will impact on nutrition, their childrens’ education, crime and so many more factors.

Less employment would mean less money in the economy, resulting in employers that couldn’t afford to hire more workers even if they wanted to. Lower employment results in the government taking less in tax, meaning they have to make up the shortfall elsewhere, either through higher taxes on those who can get a job or by cutting spending – perhaps on services the unemployed rely on. As technology in business moves on, people unable to gain the skills needed for jobs would simply be left behind.

So, youth unemployment – does it matter? I think yes – how about you? Let us know in the comments below.

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