Q: The youth in my program love to talk to me about all kinds of things, but their parents feel disconnected from them. How can I bring the youth in my programs and their parents together?
A: One key thing to remember: no matter how good your relationship is with a youth, you are not in their life to be their parent – you have a different relationship with them.
Although the youth/youth worker relationship has elements of being a parent, teacher, mentor, role-model, friend, cool aunt/uncle, safety officer, hygiene control specialist, etc. it’s not the same relationship they have with their parent (adopted, foster or biological) and/or guardian. You don’t lose anything by encouraging a better relationship between your youth and the parents in their lives.
You can help connect youth and their parents in a few different ways.
- Hold events for youth and their parents to participate in together. Family game nights, a ‘family field day’ (‘sporting’ activities like 3-legged races, egg/spoon relays, etc.), family movie nights, Father/Son, Mother/Daughter, Father/Daughter, Mother/Son activities and events. Family volunteering/service opportunities. Sometimes families just need reasonably priced/free things to do together.
- Offer ‘Youth Work Q & A’s‘ of your own. Organize meetings/sessions with groups of parents who want to know how to better communicate with their teenager, like you can, and learn them your ‘youth-whisperer’ ways. It’s not so much a ‘parenting’ session as it is a ‘building relationships with teenagers (sometimes problem teenagers)’ session. Not everyone is equipped with the patience and grace of a youth worker for young people of the teenage persuasion.
- Spend time with a specific youth and their parents, just you and them. You will then have an opportunity to model relationship building for the parents. You can bring up topics to talk about with the youth in front of their parents so they can get an insight into what their teenager is thinking, while also providing opportunities to support/explore their parents’ thoughts and ideas on subjects (provided you do support them!) like school, friends, music, etc. Find ways to connect a youth and their parents through discussions and activities.
Often one of the biggest problems is youth and parents not understanding the other and therefore they close the lines of communication. If you can help them reopen those lines, because you have a good line of communication with the youth (and hopefully their parents), you can help them build a stronger relationship, gain more support for your work and provide a needed relationship in the life of your youth.
Question: How do you help connect the youth in your programs with their parents? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
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