Youth Workin' It

Consultancy and Resources for Youth Workers and Organizations Worldwide

How To Be A Role Model To Youth

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Role model youth
Gulp

Do as I say and not as I do.

That statement is absolute malarkey.

Your youth are watching you each and every time you see them. You’re a role model whether you want to be or not. It’s part of the territory. They’ll notice when you’re saying one thing but doing another.

And we’re all human, I get it – we all make mistakes. But living as a role model means that when you make a mistake, you also admit it and apologize if necessary.

I need to show compassion to my youth – because I expect them to show it to others.

I need to forgive – because I want them to learn to forgive others (especially me!).

I need to express my feelings honestly and appropriately – because it’s important for them to do the same.

I need to try new things, even if they scare me – because I want my youth to take leaps of faith.

I will tell you though, it’s not easy. You’re not alone.

Confession time

I used to HATE having to apologize to a group of youth when I got something wrong. As they say though, practice makes perfect, and I make a lot of mistakes. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to apologize and now, I can honestly say, I still hate it. It is easier than it used to be though, even in the midst of my ‘I hate this’ feelings.

Today I wanted to scream. One youth made me so mad… actually it was the whole group – they were just wound up. Ironically, we were learning about sharing our feelings in a prescriptive way:

‘I feel (insert feeling word here) when you (insert the other person’s action here).’

So, despite feeling really angry, I had to understand my anger and manage my actions. I had to model saying:

‘I feel (frustrated) when you (don’t listen to the instructions I’ve given you).’

Doesn’t that always seem to be the way – that what you’re working on with your youth is often just what you need the most personally?!

Sometimes my Girl Scout volunteers bail on me, or they turn up but sit there without helping, or they speak unkindly to me or one of the girls. However, the final line of the Girl Scout Law is ‘be a sister to every Girl Scout’ and we’ve been working on it as troops for over a year now. If I can’t be a sister and role model to my Girl Scout volunteers, how can I show the girls what it means to be a sister to one another?

Fear

I have literally cried in front of almost every group I’ve ever taken on a residential (youth retreat).

I really dislike climbing.

I also found I really dislike getting strapped to a racing bike and sent off on a velodrome without any brakes on the bike.

I also dislike rapelling or abseiling.

And any kind of high ropes.

I’m also not a huge fan of skiing.

Or going fast.

OK, this list is really starting to make me sound like a whiny baby! I just like what I like and I’m just not overly adventurous (unless we’re talking about water sports – I seriously love those!).

But you know what?

I’ve climbed to the top of a 60 foot climbing wall.

I’ve abseiled down off a 45 foot drop.

I’ve sort of leapt off a platform (Not one of my finer moments – scooting off on my bottom and dangling there, but I tried it nonetheless and trying is what I expect of my youth).

I’ve skied indoors and out.

I’ve been on the velodrome at Calshot seven times.

Why? Because I want my youth to push themselves a little further. I want them to try, even if they’re scared. I model that too. I cry and shake, but I do it. Even just a little bit, then I push myself one step further.

Be A Role Model

Your youth will follow your example. Your actions do speak infinitely more to them than your words (I know it’s a cliche but it’s so true!).

So try, laugh, cry, forgive, explain, apologize, comfort, discipline, love, show patience, make mistakes and be real. These are the things life is made up of and you’re putting your youth in a great position to deal with them when you’ve shown them it’s possible first.

Question: When have you had to live something out in front of your youth? How did it go? We’d love to hear about your experiences as a role model in the comments below.

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3 Ways To Become A Better Youth Worker

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Become better youth worker
One way you can become a better youth worker

Q: How can I be a better youth worker?

A: You must mean besides following all our advice on this blog?!

Keep Learning

The answer seems basic but can be one of the hardest things to do when you get busy. You have funds to raise, activities to plan, risks to manage, trips to coordinate and everything else you do in your ‘free time.’

In order to continue your professional development, remember the three R’s (and no, don’t think of that pin worn by a 1st grade teacher from the South about Readin’ Ritin’ and Rithmetic)

Keep Reading

  • Read good youth work books – we’ve reviewed a few. Ask youth work friends to recommend books that they’ve read or heard about. Or check out the review section of youth work magazines.
  • Read books that will foster your creativity – even if they aren’t about your subject matter exactly. For example, this Friday you’ll see a review about a book for teachers rather than youth workers that I believe can revolutionize your youth work.
  • Read blogs by youth workers – you may not love every single post by them, but by keeping your finger on the pulse of youth work and youth ministry around the world you will serve your youth better. A good way to do this is to check out our ‘Blog Posts of the Week’ on Saturdays which feature articles and posts from youth workers around the world.
  • Read books that you enjoy – if reading is how you recharge (like it is for me), don’t just read youth work and youth ministry books. This can be especially challenging if you’re undertaking coursework – I know the last thing you want to do is read more. Find some good fiction or a biography to spend some quiet time recharging your batteries.

Keep Reflecting

  • Get a journal and reflect on your practice – take the time to think about what went well and what could be improved after your sessions.
  • Spend time with your volunteers after a session – find out from them if there’s anything that can be improved for the next session. This can be done through conversations with them or via session evaluations.
  • Find a way to receive workplace supervision – reflect with your supervisor or colleagues, or contact us to find out more about the virtual workplace supervision we offer.
  • Don’t just reflect ‘on action’ after the fact, reflect ‘in action’ during youth work sessions – if something isn’t working, change it now; don’t wait for the whole session to be a wash and then just make changes next time.

Keep Reaching Out

  • Find a mentor – Ben Kerns wrote about the importance of having a mentor for your practice this week.
  • Attend conferences (both youth work related and non-youth work related) – Adam McLane wrote about the benefits of attending conferences that aren’t in your subject area last week.
  • Watch other youth workers in your organization and area that are great and learn from them – I wrote about what I learned from a fellow youth worker I worked with in 2011.
  • Learn from youth workers in different niches – There’s still a lot you can learn from people, even if they don’t do the same type of youth work as you. Check out our interviews with youth workers from around the world to discover more about these different types of youth work.
  • Don’t assume you know it all – keep asking questions for our Q and A section.

Question: What tips do you have for how someone can become a better youth worker? We’d love to hear your advice in the comments below.

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How To Make An Easter Pinata Cake

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Easter Pinata CakeIf you want to make some fun Easter food for your youth group, here’s a great idea that Shae’s done for all three of her Girl Scout troops this last week – make an Easter pinata cake.

It’s really simple to make and will blow the mind of your young people when they cut into it to find loads of candy.

Here’s how to make an Easter pinata cake:

Ingredients

  • 2 x cake mix (plus any additional ingredients required for that, such as eggs, oil, etc)
  • 2 x tubs of cake frosting
  • Food coloring
  • Candy (jelly beans, M&Ms, small chocolate eggs and Tootsie Rolls work well for this)

Recipe

1. Make two separate cakes using the two mixes. Bake these in glass bowls so that the bases of them are rounded – the bowls also need to be the same size. Lightly grease the inside of the bowls and then sprinkle flour all around the inside before adding the cake mix – this will make it easier to remove them.

2. Once baked, remove them from the bowls and allow them to cool – they should look like this:

Easter Pinata Cake 1

3. Once cooled, hollow out the inside of both cakes, leaving approximately one inch around the sides and at the base:

Easter Pinata Cake 2

4. Put one tub of frosting in a bowl, add some food coloring and mix together. Put the other tub of frosting in a bowl, add a different color and mix together. Alternatively, just buy pre-colored frosting!

5. Cover one of the cake bases with one color of frosting, then go over with the other color:

Easter Pinata Cake 3

6. Fill the cake with candy so that it’s heaped at the top:

Easter Pinata Cake 4

7. Add the other hollowed out cake to the top:

Easter Pinata Cake 5

8. Cover this other cake with both colors of frosting and voila – an Easter pinata cake:

Easter Pinata Cake

As you can see from the picture above, Shae also added glittery sprinkles as it was for girls – if you have boys in your group, they probably won’t have quite the same appreciation for sparkly stuff.

When you’re ready to cut open the Easter pinata cake, make sure all your youth can see it – they’ll love seeing the candy fall out:

Easter Pinata Cake 6

Happy Easter!

 

10 Most Important Subjects To Learn In School

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Most important subjects to learnBack in 2012, I wrote a post saying that I thought food technology / home economics was the most important subject to learn in school. A week later, Shae countered by saying that she thought typing was the most important school subject.

Then last week, I read a post over on Pando Daily where Bryan Goldberg (founder of Bleacher Report) said that he thought coding was most important.

Taking into account how much things have changed since I left school exactly half my life ago (I’m 32 and you finish school at 16 in the UK), there are some subjects I’m glad I learned and others that I wish I had.

So here’s my list of the 10 most important subjects to learn in school:

1. Food Technology

I still think this is the number one subject that should be taught in schools. No matter how else society and technology changes in the coming decades, we’ll always need to eat, know what foods are healthy, know food hygiene, etc.

2. Typing

I agree with Shae that this is an incredibly vital skill to have. Much of my day is spent typing – not only for my 9-5 job but blogging both here on Youth Workin’ It and over at Scavenger Hunt. If I wasn’t a relatively fast typist, it would take me far longer to do all these things and I’d be far less efficient.

I’ve seen some people say that typing will be less important in the future due to voice input and auto transcribing, but I’m still to be convinced by this. I certainly find it easier to type out my thoughts rather than speak them, although I think Shae’s the opposite as she processes things more easily by talking them out.

Voice activation would also need to greatly improve for me to use it for typing, as my British accent seems to throw it off whenever I try composing an email or text by speaking it. For example, when speaking this last sentence into my phone, this is what comes out:

Voice activation will send me to think im pretty for me to use the typing is Michael Jackson sing to fight off whenever I try composing an email to text by speaking into it.

3. Coding

I also agree with Bryan’s post over on Pando that coding is an incredibly useful skill to have. Learning this subject at school will give students a head start in a global economy where coders are in high demand.

4. Self Learning

This may seem like a strange one to include, but it’s vital that schools teach students how to learn for themselves so that they continue on this path once they’ve left school.

If you don’t learn new skills, you’ll struggle in an ever-changing work environment. In recent years, some skills, jobs and industries have been made obsolete virtually overnight, so young people can no longer assume that they’ll be able to remain in the same steady job for their entire life.

5. 3D Modeling

3D printing is set to revolutionize manufacturing, so the ability to model, design and print 3D products will be an incredibly lucrative skill for young people to have.

6. World & Cultural Awareness

In an increasingly globalized world, youth now come into contact with people of many different cultures and this is only going to increase. It’s therefore important for youth to think globally and for them to have an understanding and appreciation of cultures different to theirs.

7. Money Management

I don’t think any subjects I learned at school looked at money management, even though this is something that everybody needs to know. Knowing how to budget, understanding how insurance works, understanding how credit and interest rates can cause long term debt are all areas young people need to learn, especially before going off to college and into the workforce.

8. Web Design

Although WordPress and custom themes make it relatively easy to create your own website, web design is still an incredibly useful skill that should be taught in schools.

9. Math

I’m fortunate as I’ve always found mental arithmetic fairly easy and enjoyed math, although I know I’m probably in the minority here. Although I don’t think I’ve ever had to use algebra since I was at school, general numeracy is important in many different walks of life.

10. Religious Education

I’m not talking about having youth only learn about Christianity here. In point 6 above I’d mentioned that appreciating other cultures is important, but understanding and appreciating other faiths is just as necessary.

Question: How about you – what do you think are the most important subjects to learn in school? Let us know in the comments below.

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Keeping The Compassion Alive – How To Avoid Emotional Burnout

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Avoiding youth worker burnout
Keep the compassion for youth burning

I’m finding it really hard to love this week.

I have the beautiful privilege to serve in the most under-served communities in my local area. I adore it. I love my youth. I love the little girls I get work with as a Girl Scout troop leader (or my babies – pronounced ‘baybays’). I spend more time with those children, youth and families than my own family most weeks. Some days I see more of them than I do of Stephen (I’m fortunate to have a caring and compassionate partner in life who tries to love others too).

But…

But, I’m finding it hard to love. I’m thankful that it doesn’t happen very often, but every once in a while terrible thoughts about those families I love so much rear their ugly heads.

There are days where I hate having dodgy youth work ratios, despite my best efforts to secure volunteers, while knowing most parents are at home watching TV.

Where I get tired of not having any resources or support from many local agencies.

Days when I’m tired of smiling, when all I really want to do is scream.

Where I get over it when the children and youth are fighting, shouting, not listening, throwing rocks and gossiping.

Days when I feel frustrated about all I’m trying to do, when it feels like nothing is changing, no one cares and no one is trying.

Why I’m A Youth Worker

Many people wonder why I do what I do. Most think it’s some sort of white-guilt or charity-thing. Some think it’s because I’m a saint – this is hardly Calcutta and I’m not Mother Teresa that’s for sure, as evidenced at the very least by my first statement in this post.

I do it because I can’t do anything less. I can’t care less – I’ve tried. I can’t help less – I’ve tried that too. I can’t love less…most days. I can’t have an understanding of oppression (I could write a whole other post about the disease of hopelessness and probably will one day) and an education about systemic injustice and not do something – no matter how small – to try and help change it.

I have a faith that is founded on sacrifice and love as the Cornerstone. I believe in Love that never gives up, cares more for others than for self, doesn’t want what it doesn’t have, doesn’t boast, doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score, takes pleasure in the truth, looks for the best, never looks back and keeps going to the end. (1 Cor. 13 – The Message)

Avoiding Burnout

This isn’t a step-by-step post on how to avoid burnout. It isn’t meant to sound like I’m amazing and selfless (because trust me, I have plenty of things wrong with me – selfishness and judgement being right at the top of that long list) and it isn’t meant to be preachy. It’s just meant to share the personal values I have that shape my professional values.

I know I’m getting burned out when I start to hear that inner voice saying things like:

  • Why bother stopping by, they don’t care anyway?
  • Why keep turning up week in and week out, half the girls won’t be there anyway?
  • You have better things to do with your time
  • You do so much already and no one appreciates you

I have to recognize it and answer it with the things that are at my core – the core of my personhood and the core of my youth work practice:

  • Shae, look for the best, they do care – they just can’t always express it
  • Shae, care more for others than yourself, the half that attend need to be there
  • Shae, be honest with yourself, you won’t do something better with your time. You’ll be lazy and watch trashy TV (confession: my guilty pleasure is ‘Hoarders’), eat cookies and waste that time when you could be making a difference, or at least trying to
  • Shae, hush up. You know there are plenty of others giving and do much more than you with much less. Be grateful that these children, youth and their families welcome you as readily as they do despite your socioeconomic, educational and racial differences.

So that’s what I do. I try to answer my frustrations and inner selfishness with truth from my life – What do I believe? Why do I do what I do? What can I change to help me avoid or better manage these feelings?

Question: How do you know when you’re getting emotionally burned out and what do you do to help you keep your compassion and heart for the youth you work with? Let us know in the comments below.

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