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Jon Acuff: Start – Book Review

April 19, 2013 By Stephen Pepper Leave a Comment

Jon Acuff StartJon Acuff – Start

5 / 5

Jon Acuff’s new book Start is a great follow up to his previous bestseller – Quitter. In Quitter, he helped guide you through the process of closing the gap between your day job and your dream job.

The problem with this is that changing course in your life can be a scary prospect, particularly if it involves starting something new (like a new youth work job or an ambitious youth work program) – hence his new book, Start.

This time, Jon guides you through the process of Starting, so that you’ll escape average and have an awesome life instead. These aren’t empty words spoken by someone selling snake oil though – he knows what he’s talking about having gone through the process himself and by observing first hand how people like Dave Ramsey have done the same thing.

The last part of the book (about 15% of it based on what my Kindle says) also gives many clear, practical steps that you can take to get started, so it’s not full of simple fluffy platitudes like many other motivational books.

Here’s a bit more about the book though…

Five Stages Of Awesome

Jon explains that there are five stages that you need to go through when starting on a new path to success:

  • Learning
  • Editing
  • Mastering
  • Harvesting
  • Guiding

I won’t go in depth here as to what they’re about – you’ll need to buy the book for that! Here are a few of the concepts that jumped out at me though and which are particularly applicable for youth workers:

1. Be Brutal But Wild

When making plans for the future and starting something new, Jon advises that:

You have to be brutally realistic about your present circumstances and wildly unrealistic about your future circumstances.

When making plans for awesomeness, a common trap is that we’re wildly unrealistic about our present too. We have a great plan for a new youth work program, but ignore some of the present logistical details that subsequently throw a spanner in the works. Or you’re tired of your current job and quit, only to find out that there’s no one else hiring, meaning you can’t pay your bills.

That’s not to say that you have to be a pessimist – as he suggests, you should be wildly unrealistic about the future and thereby aim high and dream big. Just don’t fail because you didn’t think through your present reality.

2. It’s Not About The Money, Money, Money

Something that can motivate us to start something new is money. Although this can be a very real benefit, there is a danger:

There are a million things that will make you money but leave you miserable. That’s not awesome.

Don’t leave an otherwise perfect youth work job that you love simply for an enlarged paycheck (unless you’re having to live hand-to-mouth – youth work’s hardly the highest paying profession after all!)

Similarly, don’t apply for restricted funding for a new project if it means you’ll have to deliver a program that you don’t have any passion for and which will make you dread going to work everyday. As you’re surely aware, youth are incredibly astute and will easily pick up on the fact that you don’t want to be there.

3. Getting Over Ourselves

The thing I liked most about the book is that it comprehensively goes about destroying the biggest barrier to starting – ourselves.

Page after page, Jon takes every excuse and lie that our fear tells us and shines a light on it, proving it to be just a bunch of ridiculousness.

  • But I’m too old
  • But I’m too young
  • But I don’t have enough time
  • But I don’t know where to start
  • But I’ve never done that before

Jon proceeds to give our fear a kick up the But by showing that none of that is true. In fact, his Dad has a great outlook on this:

Here is how my Dad (and now I) answer when life asks us the question, “Have you ever done that before?”

“No, but I’m about to.”

I love that.

Have you ever gone into a school to do youth work there? No, but I’m about to.

Have you ever mentored a young person? No, but I’m about to.

Have you ever delivered programs to 100 urban youth? No, but I’m about to.

Conclusion

Get it and read it! Although it’s not targeted specifically at youth workers, there are many worthwhile principles that can be applied to youth work, whether you’re a professional youth work or a volunteer.

You can find out more about the book and get a copy by checking out Jon’s dedicated Start book website below.

How To Get Jon Acuff – Start

Buy from Amazon

n.b. I received a free copy of Start from Jon in order to provide a review. There was no payment or expectation of a positive review – this book’s simply a great read and highly encouraging, hence the 5 / 5 rating 🙂

 

The End of Molasses Classes – Book Review

April 5, 2013 By Shae Pepper Leave a Comment

The End Of Molasses ClassesRon Clark – The End Of Molasses Classes

4.75 / 5

OK, actually if I could give it a 6 / 5 I would! I LOVED this book. Despite the fact that it was written mainly for teachers and parents, it has so many of the principles that I think are key when working with young people in any setting that I couldn’t put it down.

Stephen commented on how vocal I was while reading it, I was laughing, crying, mmmhmmm’ing and much more. The End of Molasses Classes by Ron Clark was a fantastic book, an easy read and practical, with tips throughout on what to try to make classes – or in a youth worker’s case, sessions or programs – more engaging for young people.

What I Liked

The Layout – It’s broken down into 101 tips that are short and easily digestible. Not only does Ron do a great job of sharing his experience and personal stories, he engages anyone with a heart for youth with stories of his own students and teachers.

The Pictures – There are pictures throughout the book of the teaching team, the students and THE SLIDE! The Slide is an RCA (Ron Clark Academy) focal point where visitors become ‘slide certified’ and it encourages students, teachers, parents and visitors to live life differently; don’t take the stairs – try the slide! The great pictures draw you in as the reader and really help you connect with some of the stories.

The Letters – Sprinkled throughout are letters from parents of RCA students who share their experiences about RCA and Ron’s teaching methods. They’re honest and give more depth to Ron’s lessons rather than just ‘taking his word for it’ – you have countless letters from parents to confirm his points.

What I Didn’t Like

I’ll be honest – there really wasn’t anything that I didn’t like about this book. As I said, for me, it was unputdownable. However, there is always room for improvement or tweaking so um… the stars that are next to every chapter title, yes, I might change those.

…

What am I saying?!  They were great too – they were small and fun without being distracting! OK, I think I may need to rethink my score at the top.

5 / 5

Conclusion

This book really resonated with me because all of the student, parent and community related tips were EXACTLY how I feel about interacting with and educating youth, whether it’s informally or formally.

It’s also a mission and vision that I can completely get on board with – they challenge youth academically, have creative educators and also provide scholarships to a private school to all children that attend. The majority of the youth that are students at RCA are from lower-income families and without those scholarships, they wouldn’t be able to afford the kind of high quality education they’re receiving.

The fundraising tips at the end were also really helpful, entitled “If you want money, ask for advice – If you want advice, ask for money”. This is a great chapter about building relationships with donors.

Overall, other youth workers might give it a 4.75 / 5 because it’s written to teachers in a formal education setting instead of youth workers but as I said, it’s enjoyable to read, well written and practical, even if you’re not a teacher or parent.

I plan to write posts in the coming months about some of the things from this book that particularly stuck out to me and I highly recommend it to any youth worker, teacher, parent or community partner.

Buy Ron Clark – The End Of Molasses Classes

Amazon – Paperback

Amazon – Kindle

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A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Teenage Brains – Book Review

March 8, 2013 By Stephen Pepper Leave a Comment

A Parent's Guide To Understanding Teenage Brains - Mark OestreicherMark Oestreicher – A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Teenage Brains

4.5 / 5

This book about teenage brains is part of a series of parent guides to help them understand different aspects about their teenage children. We’ve previously reviewed the books about teenage guys and social media.

All the other books in the series are co-authored, but this one has been solely written by Marko. It’s a great book and so I can highly recommend it for you and the parents of your youth to read.

What I Liked

Seeing as I’ve given it a 4.5 rating, I obviously liked a lot of it. Here are three things in particular that I liked about it though:

1. Parenting Goal

Early on in the book, Marko explains that the goal he and his wife had when raising their teenage children wasn’t for them to be happy, successful or unique, although those were obviously things they did desire for their children.

Rather, their goal was to raise an adult. When you look at your role as a parent from this perspective, it will change the way you treat your teen children in terms of the responsibility you give them.

2. Importance Of Responsibility

Following on from the previous point, Marko goes on to explore the importance of giving your child more responsibility. He explains that throughout their teenage years, their brain is developing. Many people see this as more of a reason to control young people as their brains aren’t developed enough for being responsible.

Marko makes an important point to counter this view though:

“…a teenager who is never given meaningful responsibility (meaningful is a key word there) can’t be expected to be responsible.”

Practice makes perfect, so if you don’t let your teenager practice responsibility, they’ll never be perfect 😉 Yes, they may fail, but let them “exercise” their brains so that this ability grows stronger.

3. Brain Neurons

Towards the end of the book, Marko mentions that a couple of years before puberty hits, the brain adds millions of additional neurons. A few years later though, the neurons which haven’t been used are lost.

This makes opportunities to be responsible in the early to mid-teen years so much more important, as this can be vital in forming neural pathways in the brain of young people. In the book, he advises that a researcher in to teenage brains believes that the brain is therefore hard-wired in the teenage years for how it’ll function when they’re an adult.

That being the case, what can you do in your youth work that gives teens more responsibility? Check out our post on youth participation that details 7 ways you can do this.

What I Didn’t Like

As mentioned above, this is the third of the Parent’s Guide books that I’ve read. All of them are quite short books and so the amount of information and advice they can fit in them is limited.

All three books have felt like there’s more that could be said on their respective subjects, but this book in particular feels like the ideas and advice could be fleshed out even more. Part of this is because Marko’s written several times on his blog about teenage brains, so it’s clear there’s even more that he could say on the subject; hopefully he’ll write a more in-depth book in the future.

Conclusion

All in all though, despite being shorter than I’d like, it’s a great book for learning more about teenage brains and how this can impact both parenting and youth work.

It gives practical advice on how to approach the way you deal with teenagers and is a positive look at their brain development, rather than the common negative media narrative of teenage brains being less developed and thus less capable.

Buy A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Teenage Brains

Amazon – Paperback

Amazon – Kindle

Youth Cartel – Paperback

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A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Social Media – Book Review

February 15, 2013 By Stephen Pepper 2 Comments

A Parent's Guide To Understanding Social Media book reviewMark Oestreicher & Adam McLane – A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Social Media

4.5 / 5

This book is part of a series of ‘Parent’s Guide’ books published by Simply Youth Ministry (see our review of A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Teenage Guys). It’s written by Marko and Adam who are the founders of The Youth Cartel and have been involved in youth ministry for decades.

Initial Reaction

Before reading it, I’d questioned the wisdom of this book being published in the first place. The social media scene is changing all the time, so I figured any book published on the subject now could easily be irrelevant within a year or two.

The good thing is, Adam and Marko were clearly aware of this – they even make reference to this very problem in the book. This book therefore isn’t a guide to specific types of social media like Facebook and Twitter, although they do cover these two sites more than others, giving various stats about them and how young people are currently using them.

How To Parent

Instead, this book gives overarching ideas and principles for parents to guide them in how they can approach the subject of their child’s social media usage. There’s no scaremongering involved – the authors don’t sensationalize anything or make it seem like every teenager is posting naked pictures of themselves online.

They’re also very realistic about the fact that even if parents ban social media accounts, young people can easily find a way around them. It’s therefore much better for parents to help guide their children in how they should conduct themselves online (and off), particularly due to consequences that they may not have considered.

In fact, they even suggest that it can be counter-productive to install things like internet blocking software, going so far as to describe it as lazy parenting! Instead, parents should be proactively involved in how their children are using the internet.

Even though it offers suggestions for people on how they should parent, it’s not done at all condescendingly. Besides, if a parent’s reading this guide, there’s a good chance that they’re wanting guidance on how to parent when it comes to social media.

Practical Tips

Despite being a fairly short book (all the books in this ‘Parent’s Guide’ series are of a similar length), it has numerous useful tips that parents can put in place in their household.

This includes suggestions like:

  • Having computers in public areas in the house
  • Having access to your child’s accounts
  • Having all family members (i.e. parents too!) keep mobile devices in one central location overnight to charge

In my opinion, these are the types of extremely useful ideas that parents may not have thought of, so make the book worth getting for that reason alone.

Privacy

This guide also covers the all-important topic of online privacy and how young people’s actions now could come back to haunt them again in the future.

As mentioned earlier, this isn’t done in a scaremongering way, but is an important issue to address with youth as once something’s online, deleting it doesn’t mean that it’s gone.

Good For Both Christians & Non-Christians

Marko and Adam are both involved with youth ministry, so some small sections look at social media from a Christian perspective. However, it’s not at all preachy so I’d feel comfortable giving this book to parents who aren’t Christians.

All the underlying principles and ideas are valid whether or not you’re coming from a Christian perspective – we’ve therefore bought a copy for some friends of ours who have a teenage daughter.

Downsides?

Similar to the Teenage Guys book, the flow of the book isn’t always completely smooth due to the need of advising which of the authors is writing at a given point in time.

For example, you have sentences that read:

  • When I (Adam) fell…
  • When I (Marko) post…
  • Over the years I (Adam) have…

Like I mentioned in the other review, I’d personally have preferred it to be laid out slightly differently:

  • AM: When I fell…
  • MO: When I post…
  • AM: Over the years I have…

Again, this is my personal preference and doesn’t negate the great ideas and information that’s throughout the book.

I can therefore highly recommend this book for all parents of young people who are old enough to be using social media.

It’s also an excellent resource for youth workers. Even if you’re well versed in social media, the book will give you many ideas that you can pass on to parents. Better yet, get them a copy of this too!

Buy A Parent’s Guide To Understanding Social Media

Amazon – Paperback

Amazon – Kindle

Youth Cartel – Paperback

 

Teaching Social Skills To Youth – Book Review

January 25, 2013 By Stephen Pepper Leave a Comment

Teaching Social Skills To YouthTom Dowd M.A. and Jeff Tierney M.Ed. – Teaching Social Skills To Youth

5/5

A few years ago, Shae and I became group home parents. This basically meant that we were full time foster parents in a house of five teenage girls.

The girls were there for a variety of reasons – some were in care, some were there as an alternative to juvenile detention, some had mental health problems and others had emotional and behavioral disorders (EBD).

As we’ve written before, one of the main parts of our job was to praise them, as this is the most effective way of teaching young people. The things that we were teaching them though were social skills and life skills. These ranged from basic skills like ‘Following Instructions’ and ‘Introducing Yourself’ to more complex skills like ‘Coping With Sad Feelings/Depression’ and ‘Budgeting and Managing Money’.

A large part of our training was focused on how to teach this skills and remembering the steps of the basic skills. We therefore received a copy of this book, which is a step-by-step guide to 182 basic to complex skills. And by step-by-step, they mean step-by-step!

Example Of A Skill’s Steps

When a young person joined the group home, they started off by having to learn what was known as “The Basic 8”. These were 8 basic social skills they needed to master, with them then focusing on different skills as time went on – these would vary depending on their treatment plan.

One of the Basic 8 was “Introducing Yourself” and the steps for this are:

  1. Look at the person and smile
  2. Use a pleasant voice
  3. Offer a greeting. Say “Hi, my name is……”
  4. Shake the person’s hand
  5. When you leave, say “It was nice to meet you”

Now, this may sound ridiculous – everyone knows how to greet someone, right?

Wrong.

Many of these young people didn’t initially have this social skill. In fact, many young people – and adults – either don’t have this skill or don’t use it. Shae and I have been amazed at the number of adults we’ve met who, when you introduce yourself, either look at you like you’re an alien or say something like “Um, yeah” rather than replying and saying what their name is!

As part of our job interview, we had dinner at one of the group homes and the youth opened the door when we arrived. Each of them used the above skill and greeted us warmly. Both Shae and I were blown away, as that’s simply not something you usually encounter whether from teenagers or adults.

Additional Learning

Before you get to the 182 different social skills, the book has some informative chapters teaching about:

  • The importance of social skills
  • Elements of social behavior
  • Individual teaching techniques
  • Generalization of social skills
  • Teaching skills in group settings
  • Social skills and treatment planning

Rationales

The chapters above explain concepts like the importance of giving rationales when teaching skills. This means that you give the youth a reason why they should behave in a certain way – “Because I said so” doesn’t count!

For example, you might give rationales like “When you introduce yourself to someone nicely they’re more likely to want to talk with you and be your friend” or “When you accept no for an answer without complaining, it makes me more likely to want to say yes the next time as you’ve shown respect by not arguing.”

Helpful Groupings

At the back of the book, there’s not just one index but five. One of them lists all the skills in alphabetical order, but the other four are even more helpful than that.

This is because the different social skills are grouped together by:

  1. Skill Type – e.g. social skills, emotional management skills, independent living skills, etc.
  2. Character Trait – e.g. trustworthiness, respect, caring, etc.
  3. Behavior Problems – e.g. aggressive & antisocial behavior, depression & withdrawal problems, low self esteem, school behavior & attendance problems, etc.
  4. Situation – e.g. Interactions with parents & family, interpersonal conflict & disagreement, friendship & dating, etc.

This means that if a young person’s having a problem in a certain area, you can easily find a list of skills that may be appropriate for them to learn.

What Type Of Youth Worker Is This Book Useful For?

This book is an excellent resource for any and every youth worker. No matter what kind of youth work you do, your young people will always need to learn different social and life skills. If you’re a parent, it’s an incredibly useful resource in that context too.

When Should It Be Used?

I’d say it’s most useful in a one-to-one setting, as this gives you an opportunity to address specific skills with a young person. You can then personalize the skills, rationales and steps as appropriate.

Having said that, it can also be used in a group setting, with youth discussing the various steps. It can be especially helpful to have them come up with rationales themselves – if they identify for themselves a reason to behave in a positive way, they’re far more likely to follow through on that action.

Why Give This Book A 5/5 Rating?

Because it works! Having lived and breathed this in a household of teenage girls with different behaviors that they were working on, you can see a profound change in them over time.

When reading the basic skills, it’s easy to be cynical about them – I’ll admit, I was that way when doing the training. But it really does work.

We met a couple of our best friends while being group home parents who had the same role – we’ll be doing an interview with them soon as part of our types of youth work series.

They now have three kids of their own and their kids are the most well-behaved, normal, well-adjusted children I’ve met. Not only is this due to them having such awesome parents, but it’s because they’ve been taught these skills from such a young age. It doesn’t mean they never act up – every young person pushes boundaries – but they know how to behave as they’ve been taught the skills consistently.

How Do I Get A Copy?

You can buy Teaching Social Skills To Youth from Amazon.

Question: In what youth work context do you think you would find this book useful? Let us know in the comments below.

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