Welcome to our first guest post! We’re excited to share the experiences and thoughts of other practitioners. Look for more fantastic guest posts like this one in the future. Today’s post is by Jeremy Smith of Seventy8 Productions – you can follow him on Twitter @seventy8prod.

 

Failure is not an “if it happens”, but “when.” In youth ministry working with teens, this can happen both ways. Teens can do this by not showing up to an event after you reminded them ten different times, getting suspended for fighting at school even after you have been meeting with them one on one, or simply not wanting to participate at youth group for whatever reason.

At the same time, we can fail too by becoming too busy with the programs that we forget the students, make assumptions about a situation that we truly do not listen to their side of the story, or consistently teach at youth group from a style that they never fully are engaged.

Regardless of what the failure was, we need to come out the other side of this situation better. When we fail, it does not mean that we must quit, but instead can actually deepen relationships. Here are three points to consider when failure happens in ministry with students:

• Stop What Is Going On And Be Intentional With The Student. When either of the parties fail, it is easy to simply continue on and say “we will do better next time.” If we do this, we miss a HUGE moment we could share with them. Take the proper amount of time to stop and be with the young person. If you messed up, apologize and allow them the ability to give you grace. If they did something wrong, show how grace can be given to them. In the instance above where youth did something wrong even after you had met with them regularly, they may have a huge weight of guilt and are already being punished for what they did wrong. While we will still support the consequences for the actions, we can show them love and grace and continue to meet with them.
• Treat Them With Respect When They Mess Up. When I do volunteer training, I always make sure that my volunteers know that students will let you down somehow. Not if, but when. Yet, if we treat these times of failure as them simply being kids, then we are not giving them the proper respect. Yes, they are still maturing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But if we set expectations for them to only be kids, even when they fail, then that is all they will give. Instead, let’s treat them as adults. If they say they will do better next time, hold them to that and let it go. This respect communicates more than anything and gives them the room to grow into the man or woman they will become.
• When You Fail, Show Humility. I hate failing and know that I default to backpedaling and fixing the situation. But these public failures with students give us the opportunity to show humility before them and that we are just as human as they are. If we can accept that our weaknesses will be exposed, no matter how hard it is, we can ask for their help to do better next time. This moment is so powerful, I have found that it is what bonds relationships more than anything else. We seek forgiveness and allow them to take the position of accepting it.

How have you been able to work with teens in a situation that led to positive outcomes? Please share your experiences in the comments below.

Jeremy Smith is a 27 year old youth worker at the Air Force Academy chapel, working for Club Beyond, and attending Denver Seminary for his Master’s of Counseling in Mental Health. His Bachelor’s degree is in Computer Engineering and Master’s in Family Ministry. He has been involved in Youth For Christ for eight years and absolutely loves sharing the life of Jesus with teens. He is also married to Ashley, his wonderful wife of 3 years.

 

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