A few days ago, we suggested three games that were perfect for a Valentine’s Day theme. In case you were wanting to do an entire youth group session based on this theme, here are three Valentine’s Day activities for teenagers:
Love Languages
You may well have heard of the bestselling book by Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages. He’s also written a follow up called The 5 Love Languages Of Teenagers.
The love languages are the same as the original book, although they can manifest themselves differently with teenagers compared to how you’d relate them to your partner.
In case you’re not familiar with the book, the Five Love Languages are:
- Words Of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Acts Of Service
- Gifts
We’d therefore recommend familiarizing yourself with the book and then organizing some or all of these youth group activities:
Valentine’s Day Activity 1 – What’s Your Love Language?
Explain the concept of the love languages to your young people and have them work out what their primary love language is. So long as they’re not too embarrassed with sharing, go around the room and have them say what they think their one is.
For anyone struggling to work out theirs, have them consider the reverse – what kind of behavior annoys them or emotionally hurts them? If it really bothers them when someone’s mean to them, their primary language might be Words Of Affirmation. If a parent never spends time with them and that hurts the teen, theirs may well be Quality Time.
Valentine’s Day Activity 2 – Does It Change?
Next, explore whether their primary love language might change from person to person. For example, do they think they have the same love language when it comes to:
- Parents
- Best Friend
- Boyfriend / girlfriend
They may appreciate words of affirmation from their parents the most, but perhaps quality time is more important when it comes to their best friend.
As for boyfriends / girlfriends – remember that they’re teenagers, so be prepared for a whole load of “Physical Touch” answers and make sure they stay appropriate!
Valentine’s Day Activity 3 – How Can I Love?
One of the most important concepts in the book is that the love language you “speak” isn’t always going to be the same as the one others have.
For example, someone whose primary language is Words Of Affirmation will often be an encourager of those they love – the love they need is the love they give out. However, using only this love language with everyone won’t be as effective, as not everyone appreciates affirming words in the same way.
For this final activity then, have the youth consider a few different groups of people and have them:
- Identify what they think that person’s primary love language is
- Think of two or three ways that they can speak that person’s love language to make sure they know how much they care, rather than simply speaking their own all the time
People they could do this for include:
- Mother
- Father
- Brother(s)
- Sister(s)
- Best friend
- Boyfriend / girlfriend
- Any other significant people in their lives
For example, they might realize that their Mom’s language is physical touch which is why she always wants to hug them. Instead of trying to shrug her off, the teen could return the hug to let their Mom know that they do actually love her.
As another example, they may think their little brother is annoying because he always wants to be around when the teenager’s hanging out with friends. This could simply mean that his language is quality time; if so, it doesn’t mean they have to let him hang out at the same time, but they could make an effort to spend more time with him at other times.
Emphasize the importance of making wise choices though – just because a boyfriend or girlfriend’s love language is physical touch, it doesn’t mean that they should have sex with them! We have a few resources and ideas to help you explore decision making with your young people:
We also have many different self esteem activities for teenagers – although not directly related to decision making, a young person with low self esteem is more likely to make poor choices in the search for love and acceptance.
Question: Have you ever looked at love languages with your young people? If so, how did it go? Also, what other Valentine’s Day activities for teenagers would you recommend? Let us know in the comments below.
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